80's Horror Central

Subtitle

Witchcraft III: Kiss of Death-1991

"Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death" is another lame erotic horror thriller. Mainly because there is no eroticism and no horror.

 

PLOT: Defense attorney William Spanner (series regular Charles Solomon Jr.) is happily engaged to his well-endowed fiancée. Spanner soon befriends Louis, a fellow warlock who sucks the souls out of his victims by giving them the "kiss of death". Louis soon gazes upon Spanner's fiancée's tits and sets about turning her into his sex slave. William Spanner must turn to the dark arts of witchcraft to defeat Louis the dickhead warlock!

 

The "Witchcraft" series might bet the most mind-numbingly mundane horror series of all time. I'm seriously baffled how they made so many of these films...and even more baffled how not one movie features any real horror, creativity, suspense, or interest. "Witchcraft III" is no better than "Witchcraft II". All these films kind of suck on the same level. Bad acting, terrible pacing, not enough nudity, boredom inducing plots, cheesy special effects. This is a horror series that really isn't a horror series.

 

The only real positive about "Kiss of Death" is actress Lisa Toothman (Hard Rock Zombies). She's pretty to look at and has some huge fake boobs. She unleashes them a couple times towards the end of the movie. Solomon Jr. is as wooden as ever and a scene where he freaks out at his fiancée for going through his things in the attic had me laughing for a good while. Domonic Luciana's sole acting credit as Louis is capable and he plays a smug asshole well.

 

The blood is minimal if not non-existent. The end fight scene consists of two grown men rolling around on the floor. There are way too many boring ass law room scenes. There's a weird shaman voodoo guy and William Spanner actually helps in a hit and run murder.

 

"Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death" is a dud and I'm seriously debating if I want to watch part 4...but since it has Julie Strain in it I just may suffer through it so I can see her rake. Overall, I'd say pass on the "Witchcraft" movies.

 

"Witchcraft III" features sensual sax music, cheesy glowing eyes, some hot spandex leggings, 80's bush, neon glowing crosses, and the end title song sounds like something out of "Eddie and the Cruisers"!

GORE SCORE-0/5

Tit-O-Meter-3/5

 

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