For this review I decided to post photos from the only scene in the film worth viewing...so you don't have to bother watching it!

“Spirits” is a lame, boring, and uninteresting ghost film by low budget director Fred Olen Ray.

THE PLOT: A professor (Robert Quarry) takes 3 students (including scream queen Brinke Stevens) to a haunted house called Heron Mansion to investigate paranormal activity. The house has a reputation due to several grisly murders and satanic practices. Father Anthony (Erik Estrada) is struggling to regain his faith after sleeping with a woman…and soon finds himself drawn to the Heron Mansion.

The tagline for “Spirits” is “Welcome to Hell on Earth”…they got that right. Watching this movie is a Hellish ordeal. It’s a tedious ghost/demon movie with a low body count, no suspense, no gore, and cheesy acting. The characters spend most of the film divulging exposition and back story…but nothing exciting ever happens! The acting is spirited from Robert Quarry and Erik Estrada…but everyone else just sucks. Even Brinke Stevens seems bored to be there and doesn’t even strip!

The single highlight of the film is Michelle Bauer’s EPIC scene as a sexy nun trying to seduce Father Anthony. It’s an interesting scene that deals with temptation and desires…and the fact Michelle Bauer is smoking hot in her prime doesn’t hurt either. The film is almost worth the rental for that 5 minute scene alone!

But “Spirits” is a cheap, slow, and uneventful possession flick. Estrada shows up at the mansion in the last ten minutes to perform an exorcism and save the day. It’s a shitty exorcist rip-off that kind of reminded me of the much more enjoyable “Nightwish”. Too much dialogue makes the film move at a snail’s pace and the final act just isn’t that climatic or imaginative. “Spirits” is a real dud.

“Spirits” features black magic, nightmare sex with a demon, burning bibles, a body melt finale, creepy children laughing, 80’s bush, and Erik Estrada screaming like a girl!

GORE SCORE-1/5

Tit-O-Meter-4/5 (for Bauer’s bush and nudity alone)

VIDMARK ENTERTAINMENT/88mins