80's Horror Central

Subtitle

hard to die-1990

"Hard to Die", also known as "Sorority House Massacre III",  is an action slasher that features chicks with big tits firing machine guns, wearing lingerie, and taking showers.

THE PLOT: While doing inventory for a lingerie company in a high rise building, 5 woman find themselves terrorized by the spirit of Hokstedter (the killer spirit from "Sorority House Massacre 2"-but really footage from "Slumber Party Massacre") after an ancient treasure box containing his soul is opened. One by the one woman are stalked and killed by a possessed killer. Could it be the creepy janitor from Sorority House Massacre II Orville Ketchum?

 

"Hard to Die" is a Jim ("Chopping Mall", "Not of This Earth '88") Wynorksi film. He specializes in sleazy, exploitation fare and isn't ashamed of his reputation. He even cameos as a porn director. It's got everything you'd expect from a Wynorski flick...fake boobs, bad acting, and lots of shower scenes. The film isn't very frightening and "Hard to Die" tends to drag towards the end (even though it clocks in at 77 minutes).

 

The description on the DVD and VHS box try to make it sound like a female "Die Hard" type movie. It isn't. Even the cover downplays the horror aspect and features a chick in a bra holding a machine gun. It's a shitty movie that knows it's a shitty movie. There's boom mics visible throughout, you can clearly see woman showering in their underwear (but the underwear magically disappears once they leave the shower), and they added squishy sound FX whenever a woman soaps up her breasts. You can also see the special effects guy's hand shadow squirting the blood on the walls. It's a tedious slasher that's technically treacherous.

 

But the intended audience for this film (teenage boys browsing the horror section of a video store circa 1990), would definitely get what they want from "Hard to Die". I actually recall watching this flick in my youth and thinking, "Well, it isn't scary...but it has boobs!" And that assessment still stands true today. Oh, and I'm almost certain the title refers to Orville Ketchum cause that bastard will not die! He's stabbed, strangled, shot, thrown off of a skyscraper and still manages to survive at the end. Talk about "Hard to Die"!

 

"Hard to Die" features the weirdest Chinese delivery costume ever put to celluloid, cheesy stock footage lightening, a raw meat sandwich, a slingshot bikini, death by hook, dirty feet, and a Kelli Maroney cameo.

 

GORE SCORE-1/5

Tit-O-Meter-5/5

 

77mins

 

 

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