An 80’s holdover, “Click: The Calendar Girl Killer” is an amusing slasher thriller that suffers from poor pacing and zero tension.

THE PLOT: A psychotic killer is attacking female models on a photo shoot at Jack’s ranch (Ross Hagen).

“Click: The Calendar Girl Killer” should have been an exploitation/slasher classic! Nude models, a cross-dressing killer, amusing dialogue, and more explosions than Rambo III! But “Click” is an underwhelming slasher that adds nothing new to the subgenre and moves at a snail’s pace. The body count is low, the nudity is tame, and the motivation of the killer is never fully explained. If being caught with a Playboy magazine as a young boy and be chastised is enough to make a kid a killer...than basically all of us guys would be psychos because we've all been there! The last 20 minutes of the film are amusing as the identity of the killer is revealed and there’s a fight scene with tiki torches, land mines, a crucifixion, and a jump scare ending…but it’s all too little too late.

Hagen gives a solid, if not whacked out, performance (he co-directed and co-wrote the film) and Dona Speir from the Andy Sidaris films is smoking hot! You also get two former “Friday the 13^th” victims in Susan Jennifer Sullivan (the bitch in Friday Part VII) and Julliette Cummins (the freckled hottie from Part V).

The main problem with “Click” is that it takes almost an hour for the killer to start slicing and dicing. Most of the film’s run time focuses on model Cindy’s (Keely Sims) jealous boyfriend (Gregory Scott Cummins) and Jack’s weird photo shoots that involve caveman rape, chainsaws, and chicks firing machine guns. There’s also some terrible sound editing and ADR in “Click”.

The killer’s disguise is a nurse’s outfit with a blonde wig and surgical mask…rather lame. The screen caps from this review may get your hopes up but don’t believe everything you see! This is a rather dull B-movie. For slasher completists only!

“Click: The Calendar Girl Killer” features a pool party foul, 80’s bush, an all girl metal band, a bath tub of blood, strobe light sex, a broken mirror, a Julliette Cummins striptease, and some asshole playing an acoustic guitar at a party.

GORE SCORE-2/5

Tit-O-Meter-4/5

Crown International Pictures/79mins