80's Horror Central


cannibal hookers-1987


The Plot: Two Gamma Zeta Beta sorority pledges are forced to dress up like hookers and work the streets for initiation. Unfortunately, they get tangled up with "cannibal hookers" and are turned into zombie-vampires.


"Cannibal Hookers" is a sleazy, SOV slasher flick that features big hair, saggy boobs, cheap effects, and abysmal acting. It plays like a porn flick but without the XXX action. "Cannibal Hookers" features sub-plots that go nowhere, a oddly abrupt ending, and an entire scene that gets replayed for no apparent reason (I assume it was an editing snafu). There's plenty of T&A in the film but most of the girls that disrobe aren't exactly eye candy. Most chicks look like actually street walkers from the decade.


There are a few positives though. The film features some cool location shots of L.A. circa mid-80's and works as nice time capsule for the period. There's a couple randomly awesome moments scattered through out it's short 74 minute runtime. One scene in which a big-boobed cannibal hooker sleeps topless on a tomb with a skull on her chest is amusing. And another awesome scene has a cannibal hooker ripping out a John's heart and smearing blood all over her tits. The over-the-top acting of the cannibal hooker's henchman "Lobo" is entertainingly cheesy.


"Cannibal Hookers" features the stupidest victims in a horror movie EVER! Most of the John's don't fight back and don't seem bothered in the slightest when hookers start attacking them. In the opening scene a hooker pulls out an axe and the guy just sits there on the bed like it's no big deal. He later gets his fingers bit off and just screams...he doesn't even try to escape or fight back. Most of the deaths play out in that fashion and it's somewhat amusing...if not completely unrealistic and ridiculous. I'd say this flick is better left forgotten...unless you want to see unattractive cannibal hookers, who act more like vampires, eating unattractive actors that can't act.


"Cannibal Hookers" features a hard ass detective, crushed throats, fingers getting bit off, mustaches, G-strings, a cheesy theme song, and the biggest ass I've ever seen on a chick in a horror film!






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