"Bikini Island" is a pedestrian slasher that teases more than it pleases!

PLOT: Swimwear Illustrated takes 5 models to a secluded island for an anniversary photo shoot. The crew and models soon find themselves trapped on the island with a mysterious killer.

"Bikini Island" doesn't deliver the goods. It has lame kills and doesn't even offer up T&A. A movie called "Bikini Island" should feature some hot babes in the buff...instead we just get babes in bikinis posing for the majority of the runtime. It's an exploitation slasher that doesn't feature much slashing or exploiting.

The killer's weapon of choice...is a plunger. Yup, the first few kills are committed with a plunger. As unique a weapon as that is, it's also an extremely retarded one. Rivaling the clothes pin weapon of choice in "Killer Workout". The chicks are hot but don't disrobe and the film features stupid characters doing stupid things (as horror movie rules state). The film's got zero suspense and zero scares. 'Bikini Island" goes 45 minutes until delivering it's first murder.

On a positive note, the soundtrack is pretty solid and the film's opening title song is damn cool. Plus Cyndi Pass is smoking hot as Kari. The slow motion, breast bouncin' volleyball scene is probably the highlight of the film. I must admit I liked the scene where a guy is shot with a bow and arrow and drives his car straight off an obvious cliff he saw coming from miles away.

"Bikini Island" has characters with no personalities and no one we care about. The film is a real turkey. If you're into 80's chicks (even though it was shot in '91) in bikinis than maybe check it out. This movie is definitely not "Titty Island", as I was expecting from the box and the trailer...

"Bikini Island" features an arab hotel manager, a snake eating a live mouse, a swan dive off a cliff, a creepy oil rubdown, and is "based on a true story" (yeah, right).

GORE SCORE-2/5

Tit-O-Meter-2/5